04/12/2013 | by Curtis O'Dell
For some reason, I thought 2013 was going to be different. Somehow I had hope. But it all came crashing down sooner than I expected. It’s funny though, I was convinced that next time something this bad was going to hit the web it would at least be instigated by the dream team. I guess I was naive to have thought they were our only threat.
This time the attack came from someone we could never have suspected. The name “Flo-Rida” suggests for one thing, that he might have “flow” and might be able to “ride”, but how on earth can anybody think that it’d be good marketing for this overweight RnB singer to be squeezed into pink cut-offs and wobbling around on a long board?
How is that, in any sense of the word, “cool”, am I that out of the loop?
He can barely even stand on it! On top of that, they had to make the two worst associations they possibly could. Indeed, they make our chubby friend skydive moments after having tick-tacked his way along the beach, neatly plonking us in the same basket as all those other “extreme sports”. The scene of him roller-blading next to his mongo-pushing friend is just the nail in the coffin.
Skateboarding, rollerblading, skydyving, they are kind of all the same thing right? Makes me not want to be a part of any of them…
If anyone knows of a better illustration of skateboarding being raped post it, I’ll throw in a Kingpin shirt if I think it beats this…