Bob Burnquist

All hail Burnquist. The new Christ does a mega spin on vert then displays his board to the crowd, as if we should all worship his boardliness. Bobbles never received the memo about humbleness, or received any memo about what skateboarding is. He did jump into the Grand Canyon, but he jumped into it, meaning that it is not a make. I’m sorry but you can’t mix skateboarding and Base Jumping and expect us to laud you as our new saviour. Bob practices such an unrelateable form of skateboarding it may as well be a completely unrelated activity, like snowboarding. Maybe this is why burnquist is sponsored by a Mexican fast food restaurant.

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